The Two women I’m Dating Are Making It Hard For Me To Choose

The Two women I’m Dating Are Making It Hard For Me To Choose

When I met Seli, I was already in a relationship with Eunice. Eunice and I had hit a rough patch by then. While I was so busy trying desperately to fight for our love and our future, she was busy depriving me of her attention. She only spoke to me when she felt like she had the energy to deal with me. You would think I am an annoying toddler she is obligated to tolerate.

There were times I asked her, “Do you not love me anymore? Have you met someone else? Should we break up?” She would firmly tell me, “No, I don’t want us to break up. I love you. It’s just that I have a lot on my mind.” Whatever she had on her mind, she refused to talk to me about it. It didn’t matter to her that her behaviour was affecting me.

It was during this difficult stage of our relationship that I met Seli. Her beauty knocked me off my feet. I couldn’t help but fall in love with her. We are both teachers pursuing a distance education course at the university. That’s where we met. Seli gave me all the care and attention I craved. I was so wrapped up in her warmth that I couldn’t tell her that I was in a relationship. I just wanted to be with her.

First, we were friends. Then we became lovers. Before she accepted my proposal she told me, “I am not a free woman. You should know that I have a six-year-old son that I am raising on my own.” It didn’t matter to me that she was a single mother. All that mattered was the way my heart lit up every time I set my eyes on her. All I thought about was how my heart beat like a schoolboy with a crush, every time I heard her voice. Seli, she makes me feel alive. So I was willing to step in as a father figure for her son.

I noticed, however, that when I visit her I meet two kids in her house. Her son and a little girl who is about four. The kids live with Seli’s parents so I assumed that the little girl was one of her sibling’s child. Or probably a neighbour’s child. It didn’t occur to me to ask about her.

Recently, Seli had some problems with her mother. I thought it was just some family squabbles that would be resolved among them but things escalated. I went to visit her a few days ago. We were there later in the evening when the kids came around. Seli’s son held the little girl’s hand as he said, “Grandma sacked us from her house. She said we should come to you.”

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I didn’t understand what was going on so I asked my girlfriend, “What’s the girl doing here? Just because your mother sent your son to you doesn’t mean he should bring somebody’s daughter along. You can’t allow her to sleep in the same room with us when she can go to her parents.” She wore a guilty look as she explained, “I haven’t told you everything. Forgive me for that. The little girl is also my child. I didn’t want to tell you about her because I feared you wouldn’t want me if you knew I am a born-two.”

As I’m typing this, I feel so broken and betrayed. One child I can handle, but two? I am too young for that responsibility. I am also sad that she struggles so hard to provide for these children. She works in a more prestigious school than I do so her salary is higher than mine. However, she is always broke because of her responsibilities. So I end up supporting her.

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Each of her child’s school fees costs GHC1200 per term. I love her but I don’t have what it takes to support her in this regard. And it breaks my heart to watch her struggle. While all this drama unfolds, Eunice is still in the picture. She is still withdrawn from me. All my efforts to get her attention get on her nerves and she reacts rudely.

I don’t know how long I can put up with Eunice’s attitude or what I can do to rekindle the love we share. As for Seli, I don’t know what else she is hiding from me. All this while, I have been seeing that little girl in her apartment, she didn’t tell me that the girl is her child. How can I ever trust her again after this? I don’t know whether to leave her or if I should stay. If I stay, I will always question everything she tells me. I will always wonder if there are skeletons hidden beneath her innocent smiles. Is this healthy for our relationship? Please I need advice.


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